China is bad for my English

Fact. Sure I'm teaching English, but most of the time this means making sure my students understand the grammar and technicalities behind the English language. Simply put, I end up explaining more complex subjects in simpler words, and hoping that they can read/write/speak at a 4th grade level. While my grammar has improved, one thing that has definitely slipped - and the same thing happened when I was in Paris - is my vocabulary. And I hate it! What I love about the English language is the expansive vocabulary available that you can use to articulate yourself so that you can convey exactly what you mean with just-right words. For example, why use 'fake' to describe the merchandise at the tourist shops in Shanghai when 'ersatz' fits so much better? Use dissonant to describe the grinding noise as the subway approaches the stop? I'm afraid that all the Chinese I'm trying to stuff in my brain is pushing out the English I already knew. Thank goodness for my Kindle-- I am that nerdy girl on the evening subway commute reading Fitzgerald and catching up with new vocabulary words.

Cheating is NOT cool!

I’m not saying I’ve never done it – you’d make exceptions too if you grew up with the reigning UNO champion who plays by her own rules – but I never realized until yesterday how much it irked me. After taking a dip in the world of academia, I now understand why it drives teachers absolutely INSANE when their students cheat. As a student, I got that it was beyond unfair for one of my peers to get an A ripping off someone else’s work when the rest of us worked our asses off, but it never drove me crazy. Until yesterday, when I caught some (note: not ONE, but SOME!) of my students cheating during their weekly writing exercises. How it works is every week they are assigned a passage to memorize, and on Monday they have to write it from memory for me to take home and correct. It’s supposed to help them with their grammar, spelling and writing – although to be honest, improvement at the moment is questionable. I personally think making them write paragraphs and do grammar corrections is more advantageous, but that’s the Chinese teaching system for you – and I am totally getting sidetracked so back to cheating.

Yesterday afternoon, I caught a few of my students cheating during their memorization exercises. They were looking at their phones, at pieces of paper tucked into the side of their desks and into notebooks – you know, the oldest tricks in the book. I was – and still am – infuriatingly mad over it. When your student cheats, it’s like a personal insult. They don’t realize that A) I was not born yesterday and B) the only person they are cheating is their self. Even after taking away their phones, making them put away their stuff, and telling them I was not afraid to fail them, they still didn’t get how serious cheating is. I would rather them fail honestly then be sneaky and cheat their way to me giving them an A. I’ve been fuming about it ever since, and you know what? I’ve found a new pet peeve!!

This morning, I became that lecture-y teacher no one likes. And I held back my harsher words, because while I want them to understand that cheating is NOT okay, and in the States you’d be screwed for the rest of your career if you ever tried it at an institution of higher education, I did not want to insult their culture and upbringing. Harsh as that is to say, cutting corners is an ingrained part of Chinese society. Forget all the contaminated food scares in the news – I see it all the time in the classroom. Cutting in line is a fact of life for some of these kids, as is stealing information – I was pissed when I found a couple of students swiping my lessons of my USB without even asking me earlier this semester! The atmosphere is very first-come, first serve. I learned this first-hand when I brought cookies to share with my 6^th graders over the summer. Long story short, I directed the class monitors to make sure everyone got a piece and ended up watching in horror as a riot unfolded before my eyes. I did not bring cookies after that, and while that was a class of 6^th graders, I see variations of the same thing with these college-aged students. They don’t think twice about starting fights DURING class. It’s happened 4 times already this semester. Not in the classroom during study hours, mind you, but interrupting your teacher mid-lesson fighting. Where is the respect for your teacher and classmates? I always thought that kind of stuff only happened in the movies – I mean, a girl fight breaking out in the middle of your grammar lesson? Only in Barney Stinson’s world.

Looking at all this, I guess I can’t blame the individuals — it’s the system’s fault to begin with. How are these kids supposed to learn that cheating is never okay when the only reprimand they get is a slap on the wrist? There are going to be some kids upset with their grades this week, and I only hope that this will help the fact sink in before they learn it the hard way.

I know I’m being a negative nancy – teaching is actually very rewarding and fun, and I’ve been enjoying my time here, but it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. It’s funny how a couple of bad apples can make you forget that the rest of your students are trying hard – it’s always the generalizations in a moment of anger that lead to stereotypes, right? So let’s leave this rant where it is and I’ll go back to being a cheerful lao shr tomorrow morning. 

cute overload is on my doorstep!

In the States, we visit YouTube, cuteoverload.com or LOLcats to get our daily dose of heartmeltingly cute critters doing absolutely nothing except sporting a hat made out of a fruit peel or sleeping in a hot dog bun. In Shanghai, all I have to do is walk outside my apartment complex to the critter wagon and voila! Instant happiness. On any given day, there is a middle-aged lady with a bike wagon full of cute little furry creatures parked on my corner. In this wagon, you can find every cute little baby animal that is featured on a wall calendar, except at your fingertips! So imagine cages full of dwarf bunnies, ducklings, guinea pigs, hamsters and chicks — kind of depressing, no? Every time I walk by, I don’t let myself stop, because it’s just too tempting to take them all home with me. Wilson — please ignore my recent pleas for the pink teacup pig and tan non-flop-eared dwarf bunny. It’s just a phase, and I’m pretty sure it will end in 2 months. Plus, I could never cheat on Molly.

Shanghai on a dollar or less

Things you can buy in Shanghai with $1 USD or less:

6.3 RMB = $1

.10 RMB: 1 black and white copy from the copy shop

1 RMB: a pen or pencil, pocket tissues, piece of fruit from the fruit stand, 1 color copy from the copy shop

2 RMB: bus fare, a box of paperclips, sticky notes, an ink pen that will do the job, bottle of water, a slice of freshly baked bread from a street vendor, a pocket protector for my transit card

2.5 RMB: 4 dumplings or 4 soup buns, a bunch of in-season vegetables at the green grocer’s, a postcard (postage not included), a can of coke

3 RMB: an ice cream cone, Chinese breakfast ‘burrito’, a Dove candy bar, a plastic disposable shower cap

4 RMB: one-way metro ticket to most places around the city, Snickers bar, a bottle of soda/juice/gatorade, a baguette from Carrefour

5 RMB: your choice from an endless selection of instant noodles and Pocky, my one-way subway fare to work

6 RMB: a piece of specialty bread from the bakery, a donut, a bag of chips, a notebook, an ice cream cone from KFC

Sure beats the stuff you get in the States. I remember a cycle of laundry at the Muir dorms being 50 cents… but they’ve probably upped it by now. You can’t even get an hour of parking for a dollar anymore :( 

And just because I know you’re curious:

10 RMB: A cup of coffee or milk tea from a bakery/donut shop, average price of a bowl of noodles from a mom&pop shop, 2 potatoes/tomatoes or onions from the 'organic' section of the supermarket, a loaf of white bread

25 RMB: A box of cereal, a package of pork chops from the supermarket

30 RMB: average price of a grande blended drink at Starbucks (yes, they’re everywhere here, too, and the coffee is still horrid)

The tiger mother next door

There is a tiger mother in the building next door to my grand-uncle’s. I’ve never seen her, but she’s there — I’ve heard her kid. I go over to my uncle’s for dinner practically every night (at exactly 5:45 pm), and the kid is practicing the clarinet. When I leave at around 7:45pm, her kid is still at it. Poor kid. 

Boy, am I glad I am not their neighbor.

B's Chinese friends

Hangin' out with some pandas while waiting for our flight to Taipei.

Firecrackers

Chinese people and their love of firecrackers is absolutely insane but cathartic at the same time. They set off fireworks at the grand opening to any store or event, weddings, Chinese New Year, or basically whenever it pleases them. I will be watching the news at 7:30 and all of a sudden a series of explosions start going off outside your window. The first time this happened, I freaked. My exact words were “OH MY GOD there's a GUN FIGHT outside!!” (except in Chinese). Until I noticed that my relatives were unfazed and did not even seem to hear it. Kind of like when my dad’s beeper used to go off in the middle of the night when I was having a sleepover with friends, and I was the only one who couldn't hear it. The first minute it’s kind of interesting, like ‘ooh where’s the noise coming from? It sounds kind of interesting. I want to set me off some firecrackers too!’ and then after a moment it gets old really, really fast. To the point where I think I’m going insane and want to scream out the window at the village people to keep their racket to themselves. Only at that point – not before I want to pull my hair out – does the pandemonium finally stop! Too bad it sets off the gang of feral cats that lives outside my bedroom window. 

the best kind of company

You've all met Bartholomew. He's been my greatest comfort these past few months, because who am I kidding -- it gets lonely in such a big city. When the time difference is ridiculous and it is 4am in California, Bartholomew keeps me company. In addition to his ice cream-only diet (which is severely impacted here because of the questionable quality of Chinese dairy products) he also demands photographs with all the major landmarks of the world. Yes, I know how old I am and realize that I'm in the grown up world, but who doesn't love B? I realized last night that he deserves some recognition too -- I take him with me on my travels because he's like a piece of home. He makes strange places more familiar, is extremely photogenic and fits perfectly in my backpack. What more could you ask of a traveling companion? 

did you know...

Some interesting things I’ve learned about China, gleaned from observation, reading the news and having conversations with my students/relatives/friends:

The imbalance of guys to girls in China is pretty widely known – about 116 boys for every 100 girls (quoting my second grand uncle, I/he could be wrong) – but there’s definitely a preference for boys over girls. Not sure if I mentioned this before, but my class of 30 students only has 5 girls. No kidding. Apparently, many parents are less willing to invest in girls and give them a higher education (past a bachelor’s degree) because they expect their daughters to marry at around 25 years old and then stay home to raise their children. Women who are around 30 and unmarried are called “shen nu ren,” which means left-over woman. Yikes.

You know how in the U.S., women still earn about 78 cents to every dollar a man makes? That doesn’t go on here – both sexes are paid equally for the same job. The U.S. needs to learn something from this. However, foreigners (say, if you are white and from America/England/France, etc.) are often paid significantly more than their Asian counterparts who do the same job.

On gender equality- I find that both sexes still aren’t really “equal” like they are in the U.S. For example, when I went camping (if you can call it that, at the Chinese military base), it was really apparent they expect all the guys to do the grunt work, but not only that, the girls are okay with it—okay with not being given the option to help out, while I was kind of offended. Another thing— I’m helping plan the annual basketball tournament for the students (about 140 students total), and there are 4 teams: all boys. When I was meeting with one of the administrative staff, she said that the girls had wanted to form a team too, but "nooo, we can’t have that." I was shocked and offended when she said that! They would have a lawsuit slapped on them quicker than anything if this was the U.S.!

Native Shanghainese are often preferred over people from outside the city (wai di ren, “outside land people,” basically people from the countryside who emigrated to Shanghai in hopes of making a better future for themselves)  for jobs such as nannying or housecleaning, because they can be trusted (aka tracked down in case anything happens). They have a reputation to uphold because all their documents are in Shanghai, whereas you don’t know if people from the wai di are trustworthy, and if they do happen to screw you over, you might not be able to track them down because they have fake papers (not that they do, but that seems to be the stereotype around here).

Guns are illegal here. No one owns one. Only a specific department of the police are allowed to have them, and they often abuse the privileges (or so I’m told). They are dispatched when there is social unrest, and well, you can probably guess the rest…

There is no minimum age for buying alcohol or cigarettes. Sure, you’re allowed to drive at 18, but when you’re 10 and want to buy some baijiu (white spirit, the stuff is disgusting, kind of like rubbing alcohol), no prob. In fact, the Chinese government owns the China Tobacco Company, whose popularity accounts for about 10% of the country’s annual revenue (read in The Economist) – so of course they’re not really going to educate their constituents in the harms of smoking!

Weekend in Wuxi

I spent the day fighting crowds and traffic in Wuxi -- in the cold and rain. Now I know why people stay home for the national holiday - and that's what I'm doing for the rest of the week! I'm actually kind of excited -- I'm getting a permanent wave tomorrow (besides cutting it, I've never done much with my hair, so this is BIG), and I need to do some shopping for my inappropriate winter wardrobe. I underestimated how early (or late) it would get cold, as in, not this weekend. It looks like a lightweight jacket is not going to get me through until the 20th, but no worries -- another trip to the tailor's is in order.

Anyway, Wuxi is a 2 hour's drive by car to the northeast of Shanghai, where Tai Hou, a huge lake, is located. We went and saw the lake and this huge amusement park of a Buddhist temple. I'm not kidding you -- you pay about $30 USD per person to get into this walled religious complex where there are lots of gilded buddhas, temples and places to throw money and burn incense, except unfortunately, there are no rides. You are supposed to spend more money on food, incense, and luck, namely in the form of huge fountains/pagodas/bins they strategically place around the place so  you can throw all sorts of spare change in there. The pinnacle of the experience is trekking to the top of the hill, where the huge buddha is (think the Statue of Liberty) and then you're supposed to wait an hour and a half in line so you can rub her big toe for good luck. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was a place for the church (monastery?) to make money off tourists. And it is living proof that if you build it, they will come -- people were lining up by the hundreds, possibly thousands, to get in here. I had lunch in the most ridiculous, ostentatiously decorated building that reminded me of the Vatican. I mean, it looked nice and everything, but then you realize how much money it probably cost to build it and all the other better things they could have done with it.

It was a cold, wet and dreary day, but way better than sightseeing on a hot and humid day. I was so cold though, by the end of the day all I wanted was to go home (the one in Los Angeles), have a hot shower and curl up with my ridiculous pink fluffy robe with some hot chocolate and a puppy. Sometimes I ask myself, if I have all those wonderful things at home, what in the world am I doing here?  I need to get my head checked.

Also, I don't think I'm usually this pessimistic in my posts, but it might be the minor head cold and exhaustion from my religious pilgrimage today talking.

*note: I'll update with pictures when I get home and have access to my camera cord! I'm currently at my relative's house for the weekend.